What I Noticed the Second Time

What I Noticed the Second Time

The first video was about doing it at all. Getting the camera out, stepping into frame with nothing on, and not running away from the replay. That part took most of the courage.

The second time is different. I knew the drill, so I could pay attention to what was actually happening instead of managing my nerves. And what I noticed surprised me.

I got colder than I expected, first thing. Nerves burn off fast, and then you're just a person in a field, and the wind has an opinion. My shoulders came up, which I only saw later. I looked smaller than I feel most days.

Then I relaxed. There's a moment in the middle where I stop posing and just talk to the camera like it's a friend. That's the part I kept.

I'm not sure these videos are about anything tidy. If the first one was about fear, this one is about the five minutes after fear — what's left when you stop performing and just stay.

— Will